The Heirs of Britain
Session 18: 486, You Have
Goat to be Kidding Me…
__________ Session 18: 486, Northern
Salisbury __________
Returning to patrol the north of Salisbury, the Wolves spot their counterparts from Summerland; a patrol of knights from that fae-touched realm. The latter retreat at the sight of Roderick’s Glorious men! A small victory; the stature of the Wolves of Logres no doubt precedes them. Sir Elvorix shouts jeers; Vandagild pisses on the ground where we found them. Victory! The knights return to the road.
Shortly thereafter does present an aged man, clad in beard, stink and tattered furs. Clearly the man has not bathed in a time, and he approaches the knights with a strange confidence. He opens his foetid maw, bestowing the warriors with a strange smile full of weird, gross teeth. The knights halt, sharing curious glances; the old man sits now on the ground before them.
“Knights: Wouldst thou be willing to help an old man out yonder?”
Iwan: Yes. Elvorix: Yea, we are honour-bound to do so!
“Grand! For I have lost my goat, and have not the energy to find it. Yonder it went, up thine hill here; alas, the slope is too steep for these old bones. Wouldst thou be so kind…? It is my largest goat, and I need it returned...”
The three Knights assent, each for their own reasons, and ride carefully up the hill; atop it stands a large goat.
Very
large. Almost the size of a cow.
Vandagild’s eyes narrow, and he shoots a glance at once back down the hill. Famously suspicious of Fae, the enormous size of this beast raises his hackles.
The scarred hunter draws his sword, rasping to Elvorix at his side, who reaches for a rope: “Elvorix! Be cautious; remember thee the Beaver-Demon! This fiend is too large for some earthly beast…”
Elvorix sighs, telling the vengeful hunter to put his sword away.
“I will do no such thing!”, he spits back, locking eyes on the unholy monster and carefully urging Deadwind to take its flank .
Sir Elvorix slowly approaches with his rope; Sir Iwan ambles along beside him.
The Goat locks eyes with the flanking foe; the hunter holds its demonic gaze for a moment...
It snorts once; Vandagild’s eyes narrow further.
With no further warning, the hulking animal whips around, fleeing at a pace in the opposite direction!
At once, Sir Elvorix is after it, Sir Iwan at his side!
Sir Vandagild too spurs his horse by instinct - he will not see his quarry escape... but! He reins the charger in, turn down hill: There he spies the old man, still seated.
“Knave!”
he calls to the Demon Wrangler, “What manner of giant demon beast have thee
summoned!?”
“…Waaaat?” the confused and distant reply.
Vandagild watches the man with spite, snarling with frustration: “Hold thy place, villain! If thou be not here when I return, I promise to God I will bring thee thy justice!”
“Whaaaaat!?!”
Vandagild gestures at him, some effort to convey the message ‘hold thy position at pain of death’; he turns Deadwind again, spurring him hard after his pursuing companions. If a demon is to be captured, he will not let his friends do it alone!
Thus, Sirs Iwan and Elvorix pursue the beast closely, Sir Vandagild shortly behind.
The closer men spot the behemoth darting through the thickening trees of a nearby copse. Alas, the dense terrain foils their horsemanship, and they lose sight of the fleeing goat. Nonetheless, they follow its heavy tracks, darting quickly through the trees, dodging low branches and keeping their steeds as they do.
The
beast bounds through a large hedgerow, the two knights keenly behind; they urge
their great steeds to leap the shrubbery, shielding their faces from the twigs
and branches. Beyond: A larger clearing, with fewer brambles on the ground.
There they spy the goat, which is still as a statue having skidded to a halt.
It looks up; very up; frozen in fear.
__________ Big Goat, Bigger Problems
__________
A
great hand, broader than a charger, reaches down from on high, clutching the hapless
goat and lifting it high in the air: A giant! The monster is enormous, three
times the height of a normal man! It looks hungrily at the thrashing beast in
its hand, but turns slowly its great head toward the two knights and their
lathered steeds. Flecks of nauseating mess spit from its mouth as it breathes.
The behemoth is grotesque. Its right eye is somehow split, and there lay two
eyes: Each takes in the men before it, but it does not move to action…
Sir Elvorix shoots Sir Iwan a wide-eyed stare: He opens his mouth to speak, but saying nothing in his shock. The handsome Cymric knight returns the stare, raising a questioning eyebrow. Sir Elvorix gestures to his sword: Sir Iwan nods, and they both draw their trusty blades. They look up to the foe:
The goat is no longer in the giant's hand: “BLLAAA-AAAA-AAA-AAAAA!” comes the cry! It hurtles through the air, the enormous beast winged with great strength, aimed unerringly at Sir Iwan; the missile bleats in terror!
The hulking, airborne goat slams into the shocked knight, who brings his shield high to cushion the blow! The flailing beast does not knock him from his horse, as he skilfully twists in his saddle, laying deeply back against the rump of hit steed!
"Oof! I... I think yon Giant threw a goat at me!? I… think my nose broken!"
"Lo! Then let us hurl ourselves right back! Chaaarge!" The two men spur their steeds!
__________ To See the Wood for the
Tree… __________
Sir Vandagild, delayed from his harassment of the elderly, sees only the limping goat trampling rapidly back through the shrub, angling swiftly to avoid his pursuit.
"I have the monster! I have it!” He calls, to the companions he assumes pursue nearby.
Deeper, his two friends call forth their battle-cries! Alas, the normally sharp Sir Vandagild is caught now in the thrill of the chase, and he finds not the difference between the call of the hunt and the call of war! Onward he rides, confident his friends hunt behind him and quite unaware of their plight. His excellent horsemanship leads Deadwind precisely through the wood, bringing him swiftly alongside the wily demon…
The Aquitanian’s galloping steed rides up hard beside the huge goat.... the man grabs its shaggy, wooly scruff, firm but unhindering, and with strong knees rides swiftly beside it... a broad Oak looms thick before the careering entanglement of men and beasts, and this is his target. The entwined pair speed onward for the tree - the goat tries to step rapidly to the left to slip past it, but Sir Vandagild, counter-steering Deadwind, wrenches it back firmly, and timely! The beast slams into the unyielding trunk at full speed, folding its great body around the width of it and skidding to a halt in the dirt.
Vandagild,
cheering, slows Deadwind, bringing him around; he scans the defeated,
unconscious goat and nods satisfactorily. The talented hunter calls for Atticus
to tie the groggy beast, raising his arms in victory over the elusive demon-goat!
__________
The giant rips a tree from the ground; clods and dirt shower the field! Sirs Elvorix and and Sir Iwan draw their blades, spurring hard their steeds to cut down the towering monster!
Lo! The skilled knights are mistime by the haste of their foe: The giant steps forward, a half-skip, sweeping the great tree through them both! Each man can do little but bring his shield to the fore, as the improbable stave rips them both from their saddles! The knights are crushed, their sturdy maille helping but little against the terrible blow; they fly, as leaves in the wind, tumbling to a halt near the edge of the clearing. Each man is conscious still, barely, and slowly pulls himself to his feet.
In two steps, the giant towers over the. A final glance; each man takes in his good friend, bloodied, companions for life, and companions unto death. Their shared love for each other brings fire to their hearts! Sir Iwan roars in terrible passion, possessed for the sake of his fellow Wolf. They rush to battle, ducking a sweeping kick from the soaring abomination, slashing with warding blows!
Alas,
the giant's attack is irresistible: Though their blades leap skilfully for a
monstrous home, it is the crude tool of the giant that gets the better. Sir
Iwan is caught high, the great bludgeon twisting his helm and body, driving him
lifeless across the mossy grove to lay still, nestled awkwardly in the twisted
trunk of an old oak. Elvorix curses Vandagild's absence, lunging accurately
with his own sword; but he too is caught, the giant’s reach and strength slam
the man the several yards the other way, where he clatters into a bush. Face
down, writhing weakly, the Roman knight does not stand.
__________
As Sir Vandagild binds the goat, heareth a rumbling yell, a roar, of the loudest and deepest timbre he hath ever listened. From whence else, might it come, but the clearing where his companions did last ride! Sweareth he, this knight, knowing now the foul nature of this Summerland trick; an ambush! Some behemoth summoned from the mystic swamps of that wretched place, sprung now to lay waste and death upon his friends! He will kill that deceptive goat-herder! Bidding Atticus to finish the binding, he remounts Deadwind and spurs him firm, urging the great steed to fly forth as fast he might!
And lo, in no terrible distance, Vandagild doth spy two squires adodging; Vandimund, his brother, and hulking Uthred, the squires of two fallen knights. They look to each other, holding the clearing but staying far from the terrible foe and their broken Lords. The deadly giant persists in unchecked anger, furiously thwomping the ground with its great tree.
“Nay! Fallen, mine two fine friends? My heart, it bursteth! But yet, they may breathe? Hark thee, squires: Attend to thy Lords! Hyaaaa!”
So speaketh Sir Vandagild who, driven to passion by the sight of his broken friends, charges forth to battle the great giant alone…
But cursed be this day: The sorceries of the Summerland witch, that wretched herder who did scheme this treacherous trap, defy in this moment the honest battling of Godly men. Sir Vandagild is struck from mighty Deadwind, the sweeping tree too broad for any man of honest stature to keep his saddle. He rolls, sorely winded, and not yet in full recognition of his injury, and leaps forth once more, sword and shield wielded for thorough defence, to close the gap with his steed and gain the advantage of his height… A glancing blow he doth take, with two arms he does deflect the crushing tree over his head, though he is the worse for it – but his steed he does take, and so mounted he surveys the scene.
There, the feet of broken men disappear into shrubs, dragged to safety by loyal squires; there, the giant strides forth with deadly intent, his awful assault guided by the fae-fortunes of devils in human form. Sir Vandagild whispers prayers to God: The answer is flight.
Gripping his shield more tightly, the knight turns his steed, spurring him free of the calamitous clearing – His friends now safe, he will ride free of the ambush, to seek vengeance and justice on the betrayer who led them here! Fae trickery, once more! No shame nor honour have these demons!
Keenly
he darts his charger, reining hard to lead his fine beast in erratic routes – a
great rush of wind whips his hair and cloak, mere moments before a thunderous
crash rumbles and shudders the earth beneath him; clods of dirt from the
terrible impact flick past his face, but he is safely away! *
__________ You Know Not with What You Trifle
__________
Beyond the hedges he now rides, this Aquitanian Knight. There spyeth he: Two ruined knights; Sir Iwan is too pale; three squires, who look not to Sir Vandagild, but upward, to a nearby man; aged is he, clad in beard, stink and tattered furs.
Beside him, an enormous goat, calm and unbound, chewing slowly.
Sir Vandagild, aching from two strong blows but still able, wastes no moment: “Explain thyself, knave! Were thee a knight I would have cut thee down whence; but I give thee, lesser wretch, this chance: What part hath thee in this? Speak swift and true, I tell thee, for I have a heart to set thy head some yards from thy neck!”
The man holds the Knight’s gaze, responding calmly: “No business have I with this; I only asked of thee to fetch this goat. No knowledge do I have of what fate awaited this men yonder."
“Psha! There standeth thy goat, villein, so tell me nought of that! Tell me how ensorcel thee a giant, and what hope thee have of keeping thy head! My fine friends lie broken by thy evil schemes; it is only by my good nature that I have not already cut thee!”
"I cannot say I have any knowledge of this giant; are you in need of help?" the man replies, with unsettling calm in the face of so furious and armed a knight.
"Help?! Nay! Not from thee; asketh me to trust thee with my helpless friends, mere moments after thy horrid designs brought them low in a monstrous ambush? Nay, Summerlander! Nay, Elvish scum!"
Turning now, the knight bids the squires tend their knights, and stop staring at the demon.
“Nonetheless”
the liar begins, “Since you have aided me I offer thee-”
“I need not thy help, filth! Set thy tongue still!”
The old man sighs, and turns to leave, his devil-goat trundling beside him.
Vandagild shouts at him, bidding him hold to face the Earl’s justice. The man continues his soft walk, unheeding, and veers left suddenly, trying to lose the vengeful Aquitanian among the trees. Furious, Sir Vandagild chases, grabbing the old man to wrench him; but all he holds in his shaking grip are ripped tufts from his old, stinky, goat-hide clothing; a second grasp, too, slips away strangely!
“I have offered thee my help, and I have been made unwelcome; pay me no mind, Knight!"
“Fiend!” the call comes; once more the dextrous Aquitanian tries to restrain him, and once more the militant man finds only confusion in his grip. A demon, playing Godless tricks!
Convinced now this man is no peasant, safe from his wrath by status, the hateful hunter charges! Sir Vandagild whips his blade forth lunging to bury it deep in the monster’s spine; but the blade flies from his hand! No longer does the old man lean on his staff, but onward he strides, not even turning.
The Aquitanian, full of rage and impotence, retrieves his sword to once more rid the world of a demon… The old man slips past another tree, strangely agile...
The knight sprints in pursuit, rounding the tree:
The old man is now standing, facing him, broadly set and staff in hand.
His stature grows beyond that of a humble farmer: "cease your baseless accusations, Knight, and stop pestering me! or else..."
“Baseless? Then knoweth thee what occurred! Serve thee some greater demon, knave? Spill thy rotten guts, then; lead me to thy better so I might smite him!
“I am no-one's minion, and you know not with what you trifle.” Cold, now. Warning.
“Explain, then! What part have thee to play, Summerlander? My friends lay dying and if you have answers I will have them of thee! Speak, or defend thy-!”
"Fool!" he says, cutting the scarred hunter short; he moves not, but Sir Vandagild is stunned.
The raging knight’s vision rushes full to black, a soporific wave irresistible. He does not feel the ground as it rapidly approaches.
__________ The Aid of Men __________
Squire Vandimund cannot render effective aid to his Knight, Sir Elvorix; he sees the dire nature of the cunning Roman’s injuries, and knows proper skill is needed. Lifteth he the lolling knight ‘pon his steed, and doth ride him to the nearest village. Hence, a priest is fetched with urge. So summoned, the holy man prays in rapid whispers, working and plying his careful skill. The worst of the damage is soothed, but the tall knight is set to rest a long while in recovery.
Uthred, too, brings Sir Iwan to the village. Woe, despair, and alas: the modest knight’s injuries are severe; mortal. His fair body is crushed, and swiftly seeketh his soul the stairway to heaven. The man is roused for his last, and whispers wet words:
“Uthred; bless thee. Harken: Speak unto my younger brother; bid him raise my children well. Also: Send him forth to Thornbush castle; tell him to meet there a servant; Anaise. Bid her give a fond farewell to Lady Eleri; it shall be some time ‘til I see again her gentle face.”
With this, he sighs, slackens once more, and passes into the Kingdom of Heaven.
Uthred holds his hand firmly, nestled gently in his vast grip, until the end.
__________
Sir
Vandagild dreams: Rapid, incoherent scenes; a swirl of events recalled and
imagined. Flashing, flickering, terror and love, battle and birth; war after
war, though he recognises not the fluttering banners nor the churned
battlefields. Try as he might, he can wrangle no sense from the wave of worlds
and emotions. One thing he does recall, however: Visions of a King. Not Uther,
another. A crown rests atop a throne. He looks young. This alone he brings clear
to waking; this alone from the wave of nightmares.
Atticus
looked for Vandagild, but could not find him. Finding his fellow squires, they
are each summoned to the Earl, interrogated about what happened.
__________ Rouse from the Nightmare
__________
Sir Vandagild awakens; his lips are dry like the Saracen sands; a thumping headache rumbles incessantly; everything hurts. Where? When? He stands, aching, and searches for water. Luckily his hunter's skill is not diminished; he finds himself some meagre nourishment and a trail; soon, weak but steady, he finds his way to yonder village.
Food is brought, and water; what fortune befell thee, knight? And such strange time; another rests in our humble village!
"One? Are there not two?"
"Yea, Sir, there were. Alas, one sadly passed…"
Sir
Vandagild collapses to his knees by the church, sinking into despair. He sees a
glimpse of himself in a muddied puddle; His face is haunted, and how a shock of
grey streaks from his miserable brow.
He weeps, and demands to be taken to his friend. Soon findeth he Sir Elvorix,
still unconscious though healing well. The man seems shrunken, stiffer somehow,
but alive. He takes his hand, weeping long, bitter tears over his broken companion
and their fallen friend.
Later, He asks where Sir Iwan lies; he was taken with the squires - to his manor or to the Earl, it is uncertain. Sir Vandagild writes letters, to his own and Iwan's family - he must remain by Sir Elvorix's side until he wakes, but will return as soon he can.
Some time later, Sir Myles arrives with five other knights of Salisbury. Hearing of Sir Iwan's death, and that a giant slew him, the men are hurried out to the village to rid the realm of that creature’s reckless violence. Sir Myles, a good friend of Sir Iwan’s, was among the first to volunteer; Uthred is among them. The good knights declares they will hunt the giant. Sir Vandagild, still battered but unbroken, declares he will ride with them.
__________
The Aquitanian tells the gathered knights what he knows: The demon-herder lured them apart, and his friends were ambushed by a Giant in the thick underbrush. He drove the Summerlander away, who would not spill his knowledge, but was subdued by witchcraft.
Sir Myles turns stony when Sir Vandagild tells him he turned away the “goatherd’s” help.
The knights return to the glade and find the giant dead; slain clearly by the blows of several knights. The Aquitanian checks the battlefield with his hunter's eye - looks like four or five knights, shattered lance-wood is pushed into the earth by hoofs.
Sir Myles: "Looks like some bunch of knights did lay it low. Damn. Not much we can do now..."
Sir Vandagild swears in frustration; he wished for vengeance, but is glad it is dead.
Dejected or relieved, the knights returns to the village. Sir Vandagild tells Sir Myles he wishes to remain by Elvorix's side until he awakens, but will of course return if the Earl requests it. In Sarum, Sir Myles gives his report; Roderick nods his head, but says nothing else. He seems brief, and strangely uncurious…
__________ Ashes to Ashes __________
Sir Elvorix awakens in several weeks; exploding violently into consciousness, spitting forth dried blood and other gunk. "Gah! Where in hell am I!?" He lurches to his feet, stumbling from his cot in the priest's house, swaying into the street.
Sir Vandagild, writing at a bench in the square, lurches to embrace and calm his friend; the urgent questions are asked and answered: Sir Iwan is dead.
Lurching in rage, almost twisting his ankle, the Roman shouts his lament!
“Tell
me this; Did I miss the funeral?”
“Good friend; if thou did, then didst I also. I have bid them await thee, and
have not left thy side.”
“O
Sir Vandagild! No truer a friend might a man hope for than thee!”
The two embrace again, causing Elvorix to wince sharple. The Roman rips open
his tunic, a broad bruise covers the whole of a flank, much of his torso,
and his arm. As he helps him back to rest, the Aquitanian explains the story
once more; Elvorix's shocks are repeated and relentless. They share embraces
and tears at the tragedy of the events; sharing concern for their own and
Iwan's families. Vandagild fetches food for the ailing man, but the two soon depart.
They spend some small time at Shrewton together.
Elvorix is grateful once more for his friend freeing him from that glade alive; Vandagild is saddened that he could not have been there sooner.
__________ Dust to Dust __________
The two men organise a memorial for Sir Iwan, to be held at the newly finished St. Amphibalus' Church, Winterbourne. Sir Vandagild had hoped the opening of his church would be more joyous.
Many Lords are in attendance; all the great people in Salisbury, including Prince Madoc. The familiar, weathered face of Duke Gorlois also graces the hall, as does the noble visage of Prince Meliodus.
His Eulogies are warm. Sir Elvorix tells of this: Generous, Modest and Valorous, Good Sir Iwan just wanted to see us all do well. He died valiantly, as a knight should.
Sir Vandagild speaks to Iwan's leadership - his modesty, guidance and skill are in keeping with the finest traditions of knighthood. He was an example for us all. The calming tone of his gentle words, and the fierce sting of his swift swordsmanship will stay with all of his friends ‘til they see him once more in Heaven.
Posthumous
his glorious death, he is known as Sir Iwan the Modest.
__________ War and Wizardry __________
As
they talk, Prince Meliodus is surprised by Vandagild's account of the Demon-Goatherd,
and claims of his sorcery. Though friendly, he is slightly skeptical; perhaps
your sword slipped from your hand, Sir Vandagild? And how do you know he cast
thee to sleep? With no intended offence, sir knight, I have known of many men
overcome by grief at the loss of one so close to them. Perhaps that fell heart
did affect thee?
Sir Vandagild considers the Prince’s words, but thinks it unlikely; he knows himself, and trusts well his own senses.
“Of course, of course. And I do not mean to press thee but… By thy own account, Sir Vandagild, struck, were thee, by a tree. Twice! Praytell; could not the trauma of such violence have played tricks on thee?”
Once more, the Aquitanian considers long his words. But nay; twas no trauma that flung his sword aside, like the leaves of autumn, not lulled him to dream of strange places and unknown Kings.
At this third assertion, the Prince nods, and his face sets into some seriousness.
“If
sure are thee, then… Well. I know not many Wizards of this land, save for
Merlin himself. And I know not many who might meddle with goats and giants.
Perhaps there is someone new? But… perhaps...”
He shakes his head, sighing.
“Vandagild, I would not concern overmuch of it. Fretting thyself after the whims of those who do have at their beck the very forces of nature… It seems are... Well. It’s outside of my, expertise, let us call it. I know well there is nought I might do to influence such beings. And if asketh thee for advice? I advise of thee the same.”
“To closer matters: Sad, was I, to find myself unable unable to return while Sir Iwan was still with us. He was a good man.”
Sir Vandagild thanks him for attending these halls of God, set within his own; Iwan's family will no doubt appreciate the presence of such fine and great men. He leaves he Prince, mulling deeply over his words…
__________
Some weeks pass; Sir Elvorix completes such healing as God allows him.
Earl Roderick calls for his Knights, and to great cheer announces this: He will retake Devizes Castle, and drive out the Summerlanders!
__________
* This fight was a mess. Vandagild missed a 16/20 Awareness roll to figure out what was going on and chased a goat. Then the giant, despite splitting its attacks between 2 (only -5 in our houserules), rolled exactly one higher than both Elvorix and Iwan (30+ damage hits each); next round Elvorix rolled a 1 (Thomp!) and the Giant also crit Iwan (who had just crit his Loyalty Companions for +10 sword, but missed his own 50% crit chance…), wiping them both out. Vandagild then charged in and rolled a 1, failed his 15 Dex to keep saddle, got hit again remounting+defensive fighting, and then barely escaped with his life. Giant was on fire. And then Vandagild, renowned racist, went apeshit at the goatherd/wizard instead of letting him heal everyone. Classic.
RIP
Sir Iwan, Long Live Uthred (Size 22!).
Image 1: Stared down by a Mountain Giant, Kamrouz Saifi, 11.2018, https://photocontest.smithsonianmag.com/photocontest/detail/stared-down-by-a-mountain-giant/
Image 2: https://kingarthurpendragon.fandom.com/wiki/Three-Eyed_Giant?file=Three-Eyed_Giant.jpg
King
Arthur Pendragon 5.2
