For When The PCs Go The Wrong Way

There occur at times situations you have not prepared for. I often encounter these situations when running RPGs. PCs are renowned for doing the incorrect thing at basically every opportunity, and about the only thing you can guarantee when you make a dungeon is that the PCs won't see it all. Commonly enough they'll seek out the things that aren't the dungeon and don't, in fact, exist yet. Deliberately. To upset you.

Here is a thing I use to throw content at them until they straighten themselves out and stop ruining the game for everyone*. It's for D&Dlike games. It fits comfortably on an A5 page. You may enjoy it. 

Bartender: The Servening

A game for between 1 and 7 poor to excellent humans.
You are a Bartender or you are the GM. It's 3am on Wednesday. There are no customers right now. Play the game as follows:

The Kings Of Feierland and other horrible NPCs.

It is not without precedent that town-dwelling NPCs are crueler and more horrid than the things from beyond the dark. Even a small injection of the selfishness, pettiness or cowardice you can bring with a squirrelly, unvirtuous or conniving NPC can be valuable, and might escalate into something seriously fun. It may even be a relatively unwretched trait that the PCs end up describing as wretched.

But the maiden said, "Rather than marry him, dear father, I will go away into
the world as far as my legs can carry me." But the king said that if
she would not marry him she should take off her royal garments and
wear peasant's clothing, and go forth, and that she should go to a
potter, and begin a trade in earthen vessels...

The first thing that emerged....

... from the foul, grey swamp, set brave men to tumble, screaming, into secret, sodden darkness. Much later, their mourning brothers drank deeply from heavy tankards, and wept, praying that nothing else would come from beneath the mist.

Perhaps I will blog at times.